" And then maybe, you will find yours in the most unexpected way possible. "

Stop looking and start waiting

By Tsin Zulueta

I guess all of us were told that once we stop looking for something or someone that’s the moment we’ll find it. I have to repeat that statement to myself a couple of times because once we stop looking; we slowly entertain the idea of waiting. Waiting for something is a trait that not all of us are good at; we tend to become so impatient that we miss out on the things that truly make us happy.

So you ask yourself “what do I do now?” Simple, you just let things unfold in their own time. I am not saying that you should stop looking for anything at all. Many of us are looking for love, but instead of finding that “love” we find its counter fit… neediness, and that is not the same thing as love.

If you are not looking, there’s only one thing left to do:

You wait.

You wait while doing everything else that needs to be done before you meet your soul mate. You wait while striving to improve yourself better than who you were yesterday, there is no greater feeling that being happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else.

Do not try to control things into something that you want to happen and do not beg for it to come to you. It is best not to go around looking for love, I am sure you do not want to look too desperate for something that should not be forced but should be willingly given by someone.

So stop looking, and start waiting. And yes, many guys are single. That classmate of yours just got into a painful heartbreak and you are ready to be his crying shoulder and then maybe, he will turn to you after. Yes, that guy sitting across your table in the coffee shop is ready to strike a conversation. Or maybe your friend has this brother. Just stop. Don’t let this thoughts cloud your judgment, so better eliminate them before throwing yourself in a hole full of uncertain emotions.

Believe me, I know how difficult it is to wait for something that you really need in your life and hearing, “Don’t lose hope, you will find it too. Patience is the key.” I am not an exemption I got tired of waiting for times that I cannot even count, there were times that being desperate was something that I nearly considered just to fill the loneliness that I felt in my heart. 

We crave companionship, we crave to be wanted and be loved in return, we crave to be with someone who makes us feel as if we were just meant for each other.. and that moment will come, in due time. 

So waiting it is.

The nice thing about not looking is you have enough time to be with yourself, to be happy with yourself and enjoy the company of yourself. And then maybe, you will find yours in the most unexpected way possible.

From : Thought Catalog

Till then, xx.

"That day will come. Just not today."

I’m Only 22, I Don’t Want Someone Else To Be My Whole World

By Beth Cormack

I am a firm believer in true love. I do believe that there is someone out there for me who will eventually sweep me off my feet and make me wonder why I ever settled for anybody else. There is a man out there for me who I will celebrate countless anniversaries, Valentine’s Days, and birthdays with. There is a man who I will be able to get through any fight, long distance, or hardship with and know that nothing will ever change. There is a man out there who I will share an unbreakable bond with held together by the deep desires of love.

But, not today.

I don’t want someone who I “won’t be able to imagine my life without.” I don’t want someone to “have my whole heart.” I don’t want someone to be “my whole world,” or “my rock,” or “my better half.” I don’t want somebody who can understand me better than I can understand myself.

I want to feel whole. I want to be my own rock, my own anchor, my own soulmate. I want to understand myself better than anyone else can. I don’t want to look back and hate myself for altering my future for someone else when I know I wasn’t ready to.

That’s why I don’t want to find the man I will love forever today. Or tomorrow. Or the day after that.

For those who know me, you know that when I fall, I fall fast, and I fall hard. I am a hopeless romantic who wears my heart on my sleeve. I simply love the idea of being in love. I can’t remember a time in my life that I didn’t have some type of interest in a guy. I love having a “texting buddy,” I love feeling desired. I have gotten hurt a few times, but I always pick myself up and try to move on. But moving on is hard for me, simply because I love being in love. I’ve called guys my “better half,” and “my rock.” I’ve convinced myself that I couldn’t picture my life without them. I’m starting to realize now how that’s the last thing I want in my future relationship. Especially as a young woman in my early 20’s. Before I enter into any serious relationship, I need to feel like I’m complete. And I need to be able to feel complete, while completely alone.

Too many women depend on men to make them happy, and I would be lying if I said I haven’t done that myself. At this point in my life, I don’t know how to be completely independent when I’m in a relationship. I know many girls who can be, but personally, I don’t know how.

I have dreams. I have plans that only involve myself. I’m at a pivotal point in my life where I get to decide where I go from here. I can travel, move across the country, and make stupid spontaneous decisions, just because I can. As of right now, there is nothing holding me back from where I want to take my life – well, having a bit more money may be nice, but, I’ll figure that one out eventually. I don’t want to find my true love yet. I’m not ready to settle and I’m not ready to alter my personal plans for someone else. The only thing I’m ready for is to discover where my life takes me post-grad. I’m ready to move across the country. I’m ready to make new and beautiful memories with people that I’ll meet along the way. But, I’m simply not ready to fall in love again.

As my college career is coming to a close and I’m starting to find out what I want for my life, I’m starting to realize that I never want to fall for a guy who I consider my “better half.” I don’t want a better half. I want to be whole. I want to consider myself and my happiness as more important than a relationship I will ever be involved with. Does this make me selfish? No. This makes me able to know that I can and will be happy alone, no matter how many heartbreaks will come my way.

Many people will marry their high school sweethearts, some of my friends included in that. And I love them for that. I think their relationships are healthy and I have loved watching them grow independently even though they have a significant other, and I admire them for that. There is nothing wrong with already finding the person who you want to spend the rest of your life with. You can still live a complete life with a boyfriend/girlfriend by your side at age 22. But, I know myself enough to know that I’m not at the point in my life where I can do that.

I want to imagine my own life. I want to be able to navigate through life’s exciting opportunities and devastating disappointments independently, and if and when a guy decides he wants to join me, I’ll still be able to have the peace of mind that I can do it alone. I will be able to imagine my life without him, because at that point I have already done it alone.

Many of you may read this and view me as a loner. Or maybe you’ll think I hate the idea of love. Believe what you wish, but neither of these assumptions are true. Like I said before, I can’t wait for the day I find my true love. I can’t wait to be able to look a guy in the eyes and say “I love you,” and know that it means “I love you forever.” I can’t wait for a guy to love me, challenge me, and support me every day for the rest of my life. That day will come, but I haven’t lived enough yet.

I’m 22. I have too many stupid decisions to make before I decide my fate. I have the rest of my life to find the guy who gives love a whole new meaning for me.

That day will come. Just not today.

From : Thought Catalog

Till then, xx.