Cheyenne's 18th Birthday

HAHA this post is really super late.... though i drafted it a long time ago (like really a long time ago since her birthday was in Oct and it's Dec now...) but i didn't post it cos LOL I HAVEN'T EDITED THE PICS

But anyway, HAPPY 18TH CHEYENNE ! 

So..... Javier Ziqi Xuanhui and i met up early to buy her mac breakfast (like what we did last year HAHA and we kept up with her "healthy lifestyle" by switching the hashbrown to corn. We r ur squad goals #goals) And we decided to give her the best birthday of her lifetime by making her a cake, made out of solely chocopie stacked up.

Took this from Cheyenne's blog HAHAH

But not bad right our cake ! I was stacking it and i never felt prouder HAHAH

And we bought her apple cider too cos yknow 18years old is like legal liao ??? So must use alcohol to signify.

Face damn cui cos we were all damn tired.... LOL cheyenne please learn to appreciate us more

And well of course, our usual, we slept at her house HAHAHAH #whatsnew

But then Ziqi and Xuanhui had to leave cos they had something on so it's just left with Javier and I to accompany Cheyenne !

We headed to Town and had our lunch at P.S Cafe !!

Javier gave me the weird look cos he must have thought i'm damn boliao "this kind of things also must take"

 Truffle fries !! Super big plate and super yummy which is totally worth $15 !

Took this picture and Javier rolled his eyes at me cos he's fed up that girls always take food pics hehe

But yknow jave we training you for your future gf

Ordered King Prawn Aglio Olio which is $29 ! Damn ex but damn good !!

By the end of this meal i was already rather broke cos that meal alone costed us about $40 each ???? But IT'S OKAY people's birthday ma hor once in a while

Like this wasn't enough, we headed to Twenty Grammes at Bugis ! LOL MEH we couldn't find it so i had to use GPS..... and i was the one finding while the 2 faggits Cheyenne and Javier were just following. And when i found it and pointed to the shop, they were like "oh wa it's here ah" YA IT'S HERE

 Belgian waffles with Triple C and Sea Salt Caramel ice cream for $12.90 !

Damn good and super worth it !

Cos yknow we are like piranhas....... so we ordered another one

Charcoal waffle with Ferrero and Famous Amos ice cream topped with salted egg yolk for $15 !

This one also damn good. Aiya basically their food is just bombz

Not bad right me... HAHA

To digest all the junks in our stomach, we walked around Haji Lane, which i always thought was pretty damn hard to find but no leh ??? 

 

 Wanted to take a picture behind this wall and then this couple popped up infront of us.

The lady was like "eh dear i want to take picture also leh!"

The guy then joined in and we ended up snapping a photo together HAHA cute strangers who definitely made our day

 

 Happy birthday bij ! 

We then headed back to Jurong East to meet up with Ziqi and Jiejun who by the time were already free ! Had eighteen chefs for dinner and i shared with Cheyenne cos we were both damn full :-(

That's it for now !

Till then, xx.

" My lack of outward emotion is a defense mechanism, one that I take great comfort in. "

 Why I've Had to Learn to Be Emotionless
By Hope Racine

When I was younger, I had pretty severe anger problems. I would yell at people during school, get in fights, and in general be utterly incapable of controlling my emotions. I was a wreck, with constant ups and downs, unable to find any stability or normalcy. I basically had no friends, and in retrospect I can totally understand that.

At the time I was obsessed with these fantasy books about a girl training to be a warrior. One of the passages in the book was about learning to control her emotions. "I am a rock. I am stone. I am the unbroken surface of a lake. All that ripples, I absorb." Being 12, I thought this was really intense. I knew something had to change, so I became a rock.

Becoming a rock served me well in high school. I learned to control my emotions, stop getting angry, stop being upset. In order to prevent violent bursts, I just didn't let myself feel any extremes. I was permanently neutral.

My friends would at times call me a robot, laid back, cold. I took pleasure out of this -- to me it was proof that I had succeeded. In time it became less a technique for managing anger, and more a deep-rooted facet of my personality. I became proud of it. I still frown on people who show great displays of emotion in public, be it anger or sadness. Even people who are exceptionally happy make me cringe.

Keep it in. Why are you showing that?

When I allow myself to express those great bursts of emotion, I usually come to regret it. In my four years at college, I have had one meltdown and lost my temper twice. My roommates were present for the meltdown, and only one friend saw the full force of my anger. I know it changed her perception of me. I hope she understands now why I can appear so emotionless at times.

I consider those lapses in control the dark spots on my college career.

There are bad sides to this though. I have a difficult time expressing affection and sentimentality. Few people understand the small ways in which I show how I care. I don't hug or say "I love you" often. I don't cling to my friends. My main confidant is myself. Sometimes people will break through -- my boyfriend and dog are notable exceptions, occasionally family. But I keep to myself. The more people I allow in, the less control I have.

But this lack of emotion that I call strength takes upkeep. I need to constantly allow myself to channel my stress, or else it will all explode out at once in one terrible, humiliating mess. I used to de-stress with guitar or piano, sometimes writing. But since I've been in college I've realized that I don't necessarily have the time for these activities. So now I de-stress by turning off my mind and turning on my hands.

It's incredibly therapeutic for me to be productive. If I'm not, I get anxious and everything builds up. But it's difficult to relax while working, so I often choose a mindless activity like television or something, but I will organize my day while I do it. Or make a quilt. Or create graphics for my website, or do the layout for the newest issue of the newspaper I edit.

This helps me unwind, to keep myself in check. It keeps things from spiraling and piling up around me. It keeps me from losing control. It helps me manage incredibly stressful environments calmly and rationally. And I'm a control freak, so I like it.

As a woman, giving the appearance of emotionlessness can get you a lot of flak. You're supposed to be warm and inviting and nurturing, and instead you get called cold, frigid, a workaholic, stubborn. You often get called a bitch.
But I'm not a bitch. And I want you to understand that.
I do care about you. I do feel emotions. When you say hurtful things, they don't roll off of me. Because I seem strong does not mean I cannot be hurt.

I'm not suppressing my emotions, I'm just keeping them to myself. I'm a private person, these are private feelings. It's true that I sometimes lose out on the adventures and emotional depth of my uninhibited friends. But thus far this has served me well. I don't feel like I'm missing much.

My lack of outward emotion is a defense mechanism, one that I take great comfort in. I grew up in a world that was constantly outside of my control, and I allowed my emotions to mirror that.

I was an emotional roller coaster. I couldn't depend on myself. But now I can. And I'm proud of that.

From : Literally, Darling

Till then, xx.