Cheyenne's 18th Birthday

HAHA this post is really super late.... though i drafted it a long time ago (like really a long time ago since her birthday was in Oct and it's Dec now...) but i didn't post it cos LOL I HAVEN'T EDITED THE PICS

But anyway, HAPPY 18TH CHEYENNE ! 

So..... Javier Ziqi Xuanhui and i met up early to buy her mac breakfast (like what we did last year HAHA and we kept up with her "healthy lifestyle" by switching the hashbrown to corn. We r ur squad goals #goals) And we decided to give her the best birthday of her lifetime by making her a cake, made out of solely chocopie stacked up.

Took this from Cheyenne's blog HAHAH

But not bad right our cake ! I was stacking it and i never felt prouder HAHAH

And we bought her apple cider too cos yknow 18years old is like legal liao ??? So must use alcohol to signify.

Face damn cui cos we were all damn tired.... LOL cheyenne please learn to appreciate us more

And well of course, our usual, we slept at her house HAHAHAH #whatsnew

But then Ziqi and Xuanhui had to leave cos they had something on so it's just left with Javier and I to accompany Cheyenne !

We headed to Town and had our lunch at P.S Cafe !!

Javier gave me the weird look cos he must have thought i'm damn boliao "this kind of things also must take"

 Truffle fries !! Super big plate and super yummy which is totally worth $15 !

Took this picture and Javier rolled his eyes at me cos he's fed up that girls always take food pics hehe

But yknow jave we training you for your future gf

Ordered King Prawn Aglio Olio which is $29 ! Damn ex but damn good !!

By the end of this meal i was already rather broke cos that meal alone costed us about $40 each ???? But IT'S OKAY people's birthday ma hor once in a while

Like this wasn't enough, we headed to Twenty Grammes at Bugis ! LOL MEH we couldn't find it so i had to use GPS..... and i was the one finding while the 2 faggits Cheyenne and Javier were just following. And when i found it and pointed to the shop, they were like "oh wa it's here ah" YA IT'S HERE

 Belgian waffles with Triple C and Sea Salt Caramel ice cream for $12.90 !

Damn good and super worth it !

Cos yknow we are like piranhas....... so we ordered another one

Charcoal waffle with Ferrero and Famous Amos ice cream topped with salted egg yolk for $15 !

This one also damn good. Aiya basically their food is just bombz

Not bad right me... HAHA

To digest all the junks in our stomach, we walked around Haji Lane, which i always thought was pretty damn hard to find but no leh ??? 

 

 Wanted to take a picture behind this wall and then this couple popped up infront of us.

The lady was like "eh dear i want to take picture also leh!"

The guy then joined in and we ended up snapping a photo together HAHA cute strangers who definitely made our day

 

 Happy birthday bij ! 

We then headed back to Jurong East to meet up with Ziqi and Jiejun who by the time were already free ! Had eighteen chefs for dinner and i shared with Cheyenne cos we were both damn full :-(

That's it for now !

Till then, xx.

" My lack of outward emotion is a defense mechanism, one that I take great comfort in. "

 Why I've Had to Learn to Be Emotionless
By Hope Racine

When I was younger, I had pretty severe anger problems. I would yell at people during school, get in fights, and in general be utterly incapable of controlling my emotions. I was a wreck, with constant ups and downs, unable to find any stability or normalcy. I basically had no friends, and in retrospect I can totally understand that.

At the time I was obsessed with these fantasy books about a girl training to be a warrior. One of the passages in the book was about learning to control her emotions. "I am a rock. I am stone. I am the unbroken surface of a lake. All that ripples, I absorb." Being 12, I thought this was really intense. I knew something had to change, so I became a rock.

Becoming a rock served me well in high school. I learned to control my emotions, stop getting angry, stop being upset. In order to prevent violent bursts, I just didn't let myself feel any extremes. I was permanently neutral.

My friends would at times call me a robot, laid back, cold. I took pleasure out of this -- to me it was proof that I had succeeded. In time it became less a technique for managing anger, and more a deep-rooted facet of my personality. I became proud of it. I still frown on people who show great displays of emotion in public, be it anger or sadness. Even people who are exceptionally happy make me cringe.

Keep it in. Why are you showing that?

When I allow myself to express those great bursts of emotion, I usually come to regret it. In my four years at college, I have had one meltdown and lost my temper twice. My roommates were present for the meltdown, and only one friend saw the full force of my anger. I know it changed her perception of me. I hope she understands now why I can appear so emotionless at times.

I consider those lapses in control the dark spots on my college career.

There are bad sides to this though. I have a difficult time expressing affection and sentimentality. Few people understand the small ways in which I show how I care. I don't hug or say "I love you" often. I don't cling to my friends. My main confidant is myself. Sometimes people will break through -- my boyfriend and dog are notable exceptions, occasionally family. But I keep to myself. The more people I allow in, the less control I have.

But this lack of emotion that I call strength takes upkeep. I need to constantly allow myself to channel my stress, or else it will all explode out at once in one terrible, humiliating mess. I used to de-stress with guitar or piano, sometimes writing. But since I've been in college I've realized that I don't necessarily have the time for these activities. So now I de-stress by turning off my mind and turning on my hands.

It's incredibly therapeutic for me to be productive. If I'm not, I get anxious and everything builds up. But it's difficult to relax while working, so I often choose a mindless activity like television or something, but I will organize my day while I do it. Or make a quilt. Or create graphics for my website, or do the layout for the newest issue of the newspaper I edit.

This helps me unwind, to keep myself in check. It keeps things from spiraling and piling up around me. It keeps me from losing control. It helps me manage incredibly stressful environments calmly and rationally. And I'm a control freak, so I like it.

As a woman, giving the appearance of emotionlessness can get you a lot of flak. You're supposed to be warm and inviting and nurturing, and instead you get called cold, frigid, a workaholic, stubborn. You often get called a bitch.
But I'm not a bitch. And I want you to understand that.
I do care about you. I do feel emotions. When you say hurtful things, they don't roll off of me. Because I seem strong does not mean I cannot be hurt.

I'm not suppressing my emotions, I'm just keeping them to myself. I'm a private person, these are private feelings. It's true that I sometimes lose out on the adventures and emotional depth of my uninhibited friends. But thus far this has served me well. I don't feel like I'm missing much.

My lack of outward emotion is a defense mechanism, one that I take great comfort in. I grew up in a world that was constantly outside of my control, and I allowed my emotions to mirror that.

I was an emotional roller coaster. I couldn't depend on myself. But now I can. And I'm proud of that.

From : Literally, Darling

Till then, xx.

Updates x Back to BVSS x Marina Barrage x Meetup with Jingqi and Weekee

Hi im finally back to blogging after my last 'Updates' blog post. Haven't been blogging cos i was really busy with work and also going out. Anyway, since im free now and school is about to start soon (DAMN FAST ??) i shall update my blog !

So, yesterday marked the last day of my work at Plaza Sing (unexpectedly). Well, i thought my last day would be on the 15th of Oct cos that's what i told the agency and i had also planned out my timings so that i could work with my favorite people on my last week. BUT turns out, my name wasn't on next week's schedule and i didn't receive any text about my schedule. So yeah LOLOL.

Funny how yesterday morning when i reported to work, the barista took ice and put it on my name tag. And then when i took my name tag back, he took it again and soaked it in hot water WTF. So, in order to retrieve my name tag, he used a scissors but ended up cutting it into 2. That's a tell-tale sign i guess ? HAHA

But it's a good thing cos i can finally rest (which was really needed) but at the same time, i would really miss my friends there ;-( But afew of my close friends had already left cos they either had school or they were tired of the job.
So i guess it's not that bad. Really enjoyed working there cos the people there were really nice, unlike other outlets (which i heard from my friends) and the pay is really good too (but working there is really physically demanding too).

Right now, i'll be working at JEM LOL finally somewhere that's near and i might be working on Saturdays when school starts cos they are in need of people and it's near so...

3rd Sept
Anyways, on teacher's day, my clique and i went back to BVSS to visit our teachers !!!

With Mrs Cheah hehe 

Mrs Cheah is like our favourite chinese teacher who never fail to welcome us warmly when we told her we are going back to bvss. And she complimented me ;-)

With Mrs pang !! (our sec 4 form teacher)

And after visiting the teachers, we went around the school to take pictures...

This was the only successful one ??? Cos we wanted a group photo but no one was there to take for us. So we positioned the phone on a table and stood awkwardly in front of it. But it came out not bad right HAHA

We headed to Bigbox (again) for lunch and then to Jiejun's house to sleep (??) Like the moment we entered Jj's house and then into her room, Me Ziqi Cheyenne and Xuanhui went straight for the bed LOL sorry jj for having friends like us HAHA.

After the rest left, Xuanhui Cheyenne and i headed for dinner at Subway and then we had Llao llao for dessert.

9th Oct
The clique has been wanting to picnic so we decided to meetup and head to Marina Barrage for our picnic !! But LOL that day was when the haze was super bad but we still decided to go ahead with it since Ziqi insisted HAHA.

This is how bad it was that day 

Our food !!

Here are what we prepared :

Me : Chicken 

Ziqi : Fries

Cheyenne : Potato salad

Jiejun : Cookies and sandwiches

Therese : Oreo and sandwiches

Javier : Biscuits and tuna

After eating, we went around taking photos.... LOL as expected of us

Laying on the grass made my skin itch really bad afterwards and it was like red and looked like rashes ;-( I guess there were like pesticides on the grass and i have really sensitive skin ??

And then we headed for BINGSOO at Oma Spoon (since majority of us were craving for it)

So freaking good omg especially since we've been out in the haze and our throats were like so dry. After that, all of us headed home since we were super tired after a long day out (in the freaking haze especially)

28th Oct
Met up with Jingqi and Weekee for a meal and Maze runner. We wanted to meet at like 1pm but we were late LOL expected. And then we decided to have our lunch at my workplace. The food was super good and i had a staff discount hehe.

We then went to buy our movie tickets for Maze Runner after eating. Since the movie only starts at 4pm and we had alot of time, we decided to have dessert.

Chocolate banana Tai-Parfait with Softee and chocolate cream filling

Hmm it's okay ?? Like the softee and the crispy shell is good but the chocolate cream wasn't that nice and made me feel a little sick. It was damn hard to eat also LOL jingqi took a bite and her's leaked and dripped onto the floor HAHA

After Maze runner, Jingqi and to go off so it's left with Weekee and i HAHA so sad. We headed to Just Acia for dinner cos she's broke....

Till then, xx.

Updates

Finally back with a legit post by me HAHA all the recent posts during school terms were articles by Thought Catalog. Well, i didn't have time to sit down and write a proper post so i decided to share some articles i saw on Though Catalog, which i thought are relatable or a good read.

Right now, i'm having my Year 2 semester 1 break, and i swear sem 1 really passed by super fast wtf. After this sem ended and i had my exams, i realised that i really had no idea what i was doing this sem. I was always chit-chatting in tutorial classes and sleeping in lectures. Although i still managed to do all my tutorials for majority of my modules, i still felt like i learnt nothing....

During the exam period, i changed my method of studying; i no longer write notes cos i felt that writing notes really waste a lot of time. Not sure my new method works but oh well, i guess i just have to wait till my results are out HAHA.

So right now, i'm working HAHA expected. Well yeah, i've thought about not working too cos working is really tiring but since my secondary school clique has been planning to go Korea when we graduate, i think i should work and save the money up for the trip.

But i don't work as much as last time tho. In the past, i'd prolly work for like 6 days a week but right now, i try to only work for like 3 days ?? Cos i wanna catch up with loads of things, spend more time with my family and friends, including myself haha.

I don't like to be too free either... i like to keep myself busy though, as weird as it sounds.

Till then, xx.

" And the truth is if you act like you don’t care enough, people will eventually start to believe you. "

The One Who Cares Less

By Kovie Biakolo

I’ve often heard that people only start wanting you when they think that you don’t want them. It’s true; I’ve lived by it. Whether its business or friendships or especially romantic relationships, the person who cares less always seems to be the person who has the most power. At least that’s what it might feel like for the person that cares more. But I question whether this is true or not.

I have been called the, “queen of not giving a shit.” One of my many talents is that I am really good at both not actually caring, as well as acting like I don’t care. Just yesterday, some girlfriends and I were talking about boys and I quoted Almost Famous as my romance mantra, “If you never take it seriously, you never get hurt.” And it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve ultimately come off as cynical about relationships. People think it stems from really not caring; on the contrary, it stems from the fear of caring too much.

I know how to be the person who doesn’t text back, who doesn’t call back, who waits for the guy to make the first move, and who acts like I couldn’t care less whether he does or he doesn’t. Being this person comes natural to me because I have convinced myself that being the other person comes with too much potential damage. And I do think to an extent it does. I may never have truly had my heart broken, but I’ve known people who have; I’ve been there for them. And that shit isn’t fun. It’s depressing and devastating and oftentimes a really long journey to returning to being okay.

But the thing is I think people who put themselves out there; people who let you know they care a lot – I think that they have the right idea. I think the human heart especially when it’s young, is really resilient. I think that the journey to being okay when one’s heart has been broken is a journey that is usually worth facing even when love hasn’t done what you wanted. But when you’re the one who cares less, who apparently doesn’t care at all, you’ll go never go on this journey because you’ll convince yourself that you don’t need to. You convince yourself that you’re fine even when you’re not.

What people don’t seem to realize about the person who cares less or acts like they care less is that they’re usually the one who ends up being hurt the most. It is human to want love and to want to be taken care of and to want to take care of someone else. To deny that, is simply to deny one’s humanity. Being the “queen of not giving a shit” doesn’t make one healthier or stronger or wiser or cooler or even happier. It just makes you feel less human. It makes you feel, less and less.

When it’s all said and done, even people who are perfectly lonely and perfectly alone – still need their person. Whether it’s a romantic partner, a good friend, a loyal family member – everybody needs a person. And the truth is if you act like you don’t care enough, people will eventually start to believe you. So if you feel like you care too much or feel too much or love too much, remember that the alternative is worse. We should all try to seek balance because virtue is that middle ground between any two extremes. But when it comes to love, I don’t know if there is such a thing as loving too much or showing that you love too much. And if there is, I think it’s commendable; not something to be ashamed of. Because if you don’t tell people and show people that you do care, that you do have feelings for them, that you do love them, how the hell are they supposed to know?

So I suppose you can go through life thinking that eventually someone will break down all the walls that you’ve put up, because you don’t want anyone to know how much you can care; how much you can love. But life is short and people are busy. And maybe when the right person comes along, maybe they’ll see right through you. Maybe. But if you keep telling yourself that you don’t care, maybe you’ll also start believing it and you won’t even be able to see your person when you find them.

So get out while you can and start giving a shit; and if your heart breaks, let it break. Because it’ll be okay. You will be okay.

From : Thought Catalog

 Till then, xx.

FML

 

Life sucks and i feel like shit.
BUT IT'S OKAY; others have it worse than me

Till then, xx.

"And slowly, unceremoniously, you find your way back to yourself. "

This Is How You Lose Yourself

By Heidi Priebe

You lose yourself through compromise. In the beginning it’s only the small stuff – the dish you didn’t care for at dinner or the night you didn’t want to go out. But over time it turns to bigger things – the career path you could have pursued or the traveling you could have done, had you not had that person or that situation or that one inconvenience standing in the way. You don’t make active, conscious compromises but you let opportunities slide off your radar without a second thought – ones you would have, in another world, jumped at. Ones that could have made you more you. 
 

You lose yourself when you listen to closely to what everybody else has to say. You let your family tell you what job to work, your friends tell you who you should date and television tell you what you wear and how you should act at all times. You pass each meaningless checkpoint with a sense of detached apathy and you’re not sure where you have displaced your passion. You lose yourself when you let other people decide who you’ll become and you end up becoming second-rate versions of them instead of a first rate version of yourself. 

 

You lose yourself when you forget to make decisions – when the unlimited nature of options sends you into a paralysis that hastens you from choosing at all. When not deciding becomes your default mode because taking affirmative action seems too definite and you’d rather leave your options open. You lose yourself when the evasion of choice becomes the only choice you make and it is one that leaves you absolutely powerless. 
 

You lose yourself when you refuse to be tough with yourself. When the concept of ‘self-love’ stretches too far and veers into the territory of making you into someone you can’t respect. You let yourself take a few leniencies here, a couple cop-out moments there and suddenly your entire life bleeds into one giant excuse not to try. You don’t want to be rough on yourself or harsh to yourself and you’re your own best friend, right? So you let yourself wallow when you need to be sad and stay home when you don’t feel like going out and suddenly you’re someone who never leaves their room or get things done and you’re not sure what happened to the person who you used to be. 

You lose yourself when you refuse to take responsibility. You project all of your problems onto the world instead of asking yourself how to resolve them. You stew in a pit of your own issues and you reason that because they’re not your fault, they’re also not your responsibility to account for. And so you sit with those problems until they become the very essence of who you are. And you wonder when the world is going to cut you a break. 

You lose yourself methodically. You lose yourself accidentally. You lose yourself in a series of tiny, scarcely noticeable moments that distance you from the person you wanted to become. You lose yourself passively and unintentionally. You lose yourself in the pursuit of not messing it all up.

There are an infinite number of ways in which we distance ourselves from the people we’d like to be and almost none of them are born from intention. We become accustomed to making the easy choice, the reasonable choice or the straightforward choice rather than the choice we’d actually like to see happen. It seems harmless day to day and yet it builds up over the years: spilling over into every imaginable facet of our lives. One day we wake up realizing ten years has passed since the day we graduated or resolved to quit that dead-end job and where have we gotten? Who have we become? Which day-to-day choices brought us to this point where we have no grasp on the life we planned to lead?

We have to be more conscious of the infinite tiny moments that rob us of ourselves. Each chance we don’t take, each move we don’t make, every time we teeter on the line of “Why not,” and “Why bother” and we end up deciding on the latter. These are the tiny moments that rob us of what could be our lives greatest changes. And to find ourselves again in the midst of it all, we have to start making those tiny, minuscule choices that flip the whole thing on its head.

The compromises that we refuse to give in to. The advice you decide not to take. The times you force yourself to go out rather than staying in to wallow and the chances you don’t let yourself pass up. Just as you lose yourself slowly and unintentionally, you find yourself that way, too. You re-create yourself. You re-define yourself. You make a series of small, incidental choices that reverse the direction you are headed. And slowly, unceremoniously, you find your way back to yourself.

From : Thought Catalog

Till then, xx.

How To Get What You Want In Life 

By : Ellen Nguyen

If you look back at your life, tell me how many times have you wanted something badly and screwed it all up? You blame yourself; you regret your actions; you wish you could go back in time and do it differently; you torture yourself with the fact that you might never have the same opportunity again. It forces you to doubt yourself, to admit defeat, to ask, “Why not me?”, believing you’re never good enough for it.

That feeling sucks, especially when no matter how much you try to lie to yourself, deep down you know you still want it. The worst part is that you don’t even know how to make it right. You’re afraid that you will mess up all the good things in your life while wondering on-end how other people could have it all together.

I have been there before. I have been that girl who made mistakes after mistakes, got myself humiliated, ashamed, heartbroken, and subsequently ruined my chances at happiness. It happened so often that I even convinced myself I did not really want what I wanted, or perhaps I was meant to look for something else.

However, over time as I learned from my experiences and started to do differently to attain my goals, I realized that it wasn’t about the things that I wanted, it was essentially about me. It is about my mindset, how I see and treat myself and the way I go about my life. It was eye-opening to me that by changing my thinking and approach, I could actually turn everything around, be well-prepared and in control.

The full article is at : Thought catalog : How to get what you want in life

Till then, xx.

12.

12 Things Some Girls Still Don’t Understand

By Kate Bailey

1. More makeup does not mean more beautiful. More makeup means you look like you put more makeup on. It’s not to say that I think girls should only wear a certain amount of makeup, it’s just to say that there are some girls who will not leave the house without a full face of foundation, concealer, contouring and a smokey eye and I think it kind of wanes on their quality of life. I know, I used to be one of these girls.

2. You should never be at the whim of your partner’s will because you are a woman, and if you are, it’s your duty to stand up for yourself and other women until we live in a culture where that isn’t an issue.

3. Nobody is impressed by how little you ate today. They want to give you a sandwich and explain to you the world of beauty standards because they feel bad for you.

4. You never have to be ashamed of what you look like. People will always have their opinions, so it’s up to you whether or not you want to listen to them, and act on them. Most often, the only person who is telling you that you look awful is yourself. People who love you won’t care about that kind of stuff.

5. Nobody is looking to date a girl who doesn’t respect herself.

6. If you want to impress someone, talk about something of substance. People will be taken by you for displaying who you are by your words and actions more than how you present yourself aesthetically.

7. The absolute most attractive thing a girl can do and be is confident.

8. Your sexuality is yours, and yours alone, and you are in charge of it, and if that is violated, you are not at fault. At the same time, you are entitled to express yourself healthfully in that way, and you don’t have to make excuses for it, nor do you have to hide or be embarrassed of it.

9.  There are few things more unattractive and unappealing than a girl who talks badly about another woman and uses her appearance as ammo. Calling another girl fat usually doesn’t make the person you’re talking to think they are fat more than it makes them think you are insecure about your own body, etc.

10. The more photos you take of yourself and post on social media, especially ones that involve a full-body shot and a sexually indicative pose, does not equate to how much more people will think you are attractive. However, you have the right to do this if so you choose.

11. You don’t have to pose for a photo with every single person in the room at a social gathering to prove you had a great time or have friends. Just think about how that looks when you post an album to Facebook where you are in every single picture.

12. You aren’t anything lesser because you don’t want to be a picture of femininity, but that’s also not something you have to prove to anyone.

From : Thought Catalog

Till then, xx.

" Whatever freedom means to you, take the chance to define it – and then pursue it with everything you’ve got. "

12 Ways To Cultivate More Freedom In Your Everyday Life

By Heidi Priebe

1. De-clutter your living space

Go through your house or apartment and get rid of everything you don’t need – the clothing you haven’t worn in years, the nick-knacks that litter your living room, the mementos you no longer look at. The less you own, the more you realize how little you actually need to be happy. And that’s a freeing notion.

2. Stop apologizing

Stop invalidating yourself by contradicting your actions with your words. If you’re not sorry, don’t say so. Own your actions and your thoughts. It’s a damn freeing feeling to stand by what you do without apology.

3. Move your body daily

It’s so easy to become dormant in our everyday lives and forget that our bodies are the most liberating tools we have for exploration and discovery. When we find a type of activity that invigorates and refreshes us, there’s no reason not to do it daily. It could be as intensive as scaling a rock face or as relaxing as low-key yoga. Either way, it is a celebration of what you are capable of using only your own body and spirit.

4. Start saying no

Start small. If you don’t want to finish the movie, turn off the TV. If you don’t want to go to the party, don’t go. Getting into the habit of saying no to small things helps us to repeat the practice when it comes to the bigger issues – and it frees up so much more time for what we actually do want to do in our days.

5. Spend money on experiences, not things

Realize which purchases are investments for your well being and which purchases will eventually just become clutter. Budget your money to save up for adventures and experiences, not just objects that will collect dust on your shelf.

6. Lean into discomfort

Most of the limits we face in our lives are self-imposed. We strive for freedom but we also regulate our lives mercilessly. Practice freedom by breaking down the regular structure of your day and saying yes to activities that challenge or scare you a little. It could be as small as trying a new cuisine or as nerve-wracking as asking someone out on a date. Whatever it is, just don’t let fear get in the way. Let it serve as a reminder that you’re onto something good.

7. Stop making comparisons

Measuring ourselves up against the successes and failures of others narrows our lives down to the tiniest, pettiest versions of what they could be. Let go of ideas of what you ‘should’ be doing based on what others are doing. You are your own person and your life will be infinitely different than the lives of those around you – if you let it be.

8. Envision the life that you want

Don’t hold back when it comes to envisioning the life you wish you were leading. Let your fantasies run wild and then let them serve as a basis for what you should prioritize. Giving your mind permission to elaborate on reality will help you feel freer in every way.

9. Commit to continuous learning

Discard the idea that you’re too old or too busy to learn anything new. Open your mind up to new ideas, new concepts and consequently new challenges. Free yourself from your usual way of thinking and recognize how quickly it translates to new ways of doing things, too.

10. Reserve judgment when it comes to others

Silence the voice in your mind that criticizes and belittles the people around you. Instead, take note of what you admire about others – if they’re incredibly conscientious with their work or if they made an especially bold move with a particular outfit. Re-training your brain to identify the positive things around you also trains it to recognize the potential.

11. Realize what you need to let go of

Hone in on your thoughts and recognize which ones are dragging you down. If you’re holding in anger, resentment or fear, find a way to release it. And relish in the positive mental space you’ve cultivated as a result.

12. Define your own freedom

Consider what the word ‘Freedom’ actually means to you. Is it financial independence? Is it intellectual stimulation? Is it having the time and resources to travel or is it as simple as making a little more time to read and visit friends? Whatever freedom means to you, take the chance to define it – and then pursue it with everything you’ve got.

From : Thought Catalog

Till then, xx.

Twenty

So i watched Twenty with my all-time korean movie buddy aka Cheyenne.
LOLOL made it just in-time for the 4.05pm one at Vivocity and gdi, i dropped my phone while running cos Cheyenne kept rushing me ;-(

Originally i wanted to watch this because of the 3 main casts duh ( Lee Jun Ho, Kang Ha Neul and Kim Woo Bin) HAHA with no prior knowledge about that this show was about but i ended up really liking this movie. Cos it's freaking funny LOLOL i laughed till my tears came out oh god.

Some of the funniest moments :

• When Kim Woo Bin wanted to sprinkle chili spices into the bad guy's eyes but ends up sprinkling into his eyes too

• How you hit on a girl, literally

• And how to deal with it

• When you realized you've made a huge mistake

• When your parents doesn't give you your allowance

• How to push the blame in slow mo version

Really recommend you guys to go watch it !!

Till then, xx.

"It will be well worth the wait, I promise."

  7 Lessons You Learn When You’re The Perpetually Single Friend

By : Tabitha Blaisdell

I have always been a late bloomer to love. When my friends first started dating as teens, I was the one stuck fantasizing about my first celebrity crush, Jesse McCartney. Don’t get me wrong: Jesse McCartney was — and still is — a babe, but as a 16-year-old, I felt secluded from a whole new world that my friends had already entered.

Of course, it wasn’t their fault that boys weren’t interested in me (or that I was interested in all the wrong boys) but this didn’t stop me from developing a bruised self-esteem and feeling unwanted, lonely, and confused. Thankfully, I grew out of these feelings and by the time I was 18, I became used to always the token “the single friend” of the group. 

The single friend sometimes gets a bad rep, a reputation that is mostly created by ourselves, but also enhanced by others. Singles often throw themselves pity parties or have pity parties thrown for them. We are victims of bad blind date set-ups and being the third wheel. But as a loyal member of the single friend committee,

I’m here to remind you that there’s a lot more you can learn from being the predominately single friend than you may realize. So lets stop victimizing ourselves as the single friend and instead LEARN from it.

Here are 7 things I’ve learned as the single friend, hopefully they will help you, too.

1. There’s no better way to figure out what you want in a relationship than having the time to figure yourself out first.

I’ve achieved a great understanding of my personal relationship goals by becoming more in touch with myself as well as witnessing the dynamics of my friends’ relationships. Being a witness to their relationships has given me a better idea of what I’m willing or not willing to put up with in a relationship.

2. No one is immune to loneliness.

But when you’re single, those lonely feelings are harder to fight off. As the chronically single friend, I naturally spend a lot of time alone. However, instead of letting those feelings overwhelm me, I’ve learned to enjoy my alone time. I’ve pursued many passions and interests on my own. I’ve sat at tables for one for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and have learned to make do through very cold winters.

This strong sense of independence not only gives me more confidence but it will also help me when my single status (hopefully) changes. It’s no secret that all successful couples need to know how to spend time apart. I believe by my next relationship, I will have conquered the ability of spending time alone. And because of this, I won’t be a Stage-5 clinger or a smotherer, because I crave my alone time and NEED my own space.  

3. Take your own advice.

As the predominately single friend, I’ve been my friends’ relationship speed-dial and have given out large amounts of advice to them whenever they’re in need. My advice is good since I can look at their problem(s) through an objective perspective.
Oftentimes my friends could have come to the same conclusions on their own — but they didn’t because they didn’t know how to step outside of the situation they were in and silence their emotions long enough to come to a reasonable conclusion.

However, since I’ve always been on the outside, I believe I have extra insight. The advice I’ve given to them is engrained in my mind and I’m certain it will assist me in resolving similar issues I’ll inevitably experience myself.

4. Never compromise your self-worth.

There are many times my friends have come to me telling me horrible things their significant other did or said to them. Naturally, I react with sympathy toward them and anger toward their partner. Along with my angry and sympathetic words, I always tell them the same phrase.. “You don’t deserve that.” While I attempt to repair my friends’ confidence, I remind them of their good qualities. I make sure they remember how beautiful, smart and wonderful they are and to not let their partner make them feel like anything less.

This is not only a vital and empowering reminder for them but for me, too. By reminding them of their self-worth, it simultaneously reminds me of my own. My friends are all beautiful, intelligent, wonderful women — and so am I. I know that by taking these thoughts with me into a relationship, I won’t allow myself to accept the kind of treatment that is not acceptable to me. I’ve learned how to be the same kind of friend I am to them to myself.

5. Never prolong your unhappiness.

Although I’ve been single the majority of my life, there was a guy whom I briefly dated last summer. Being that he was my first boyfriend, it was exciting to relish in my new relationship status as a taken woman. However, the relationship quickly turned toxic. I was being mistreated and my first reaction was to alienate myself from my situation and deny reality.

I spent weeks justifying his behavior but at night I would cry into my pillowcase uncertain about what to do. It was less than three months in but I felt stuck. Finally, I found the strength to end it. It wasn’t easy and I’m not going to pretend I wasn’t a wreck over it. But in the end, cutting ties with him was one of the smartest and empowering decisions I’ve ever made.

I didn’t think I had it in me. I thought I would allow my emotions to be played with, that I’d spend a long time allowing this man to pull me on his string. I’d be lying if I said that contact ended the day I broke up with him but I’m not when I say that was the day that I realized I shouldn’t be with someone who makes me unhappy. It may sound obvious but many times ending the wrong relationship isn’t as easy as you may think. However, once you realize how much happiness this person or situation is taking away from your life, it makes cutting the cord a HELL of a lot easier.

6. The blame is never just one person’s fault.

I’ve seen several of my friends play the blame game in their relationships. They’ve been quick to assume a relationship issue was entirely their partner’s fault. Being the one who is often presented with my friends relationship problems, I’ve analyzed the issues from both sides. There have been times when I agreed with them completely and times when I called them out on overreacting or being ridiculous.

My experience with my friends’ relationship issues will remind me to try to remain level-headed rather than jumping to conclusions. Through the experiences that I have encountered with them, I’ll better recognize when I’m overreacting or being absolutely ridiculous.

7. Never put your life on hold for someone else.

Obviously, relationships are a lot of work. You have to make personal sacrifices. But as a witness to other relationships, I’ve realized there are things I will never give up — or even consider being asked to give up. Even without the experience of being in a long-term relationship, I know that a good and respectable partner won’t ask me to give up everything (my career pursuits, my relationships with others, etc) in order to be with him.

When one of my friends was having problems with her husband, she told me “I gave up everything for him. I wasted so much time being here for him that I don’t even know what I’m doing or where I’m going with MY life.” I could hear the resentment in her voice and can only imagine how unfulfilled she felt. It was a striking revelation, one that will resonate with me for a long time. I look at her situation and it has allowed me to evaluate what sacrifices I’m willing to make in my future relationships.

I can’t predict the future — but I do know that I will not make sacrifices so large I’m incapable of living a meaningful life along with my partner.

We must remember that being single isn’t a prison sentence. Sure, you do your time (and at times it may feel like a long, 10-year sentence of loneliness), but unlike prison, you have unlimited freedom and opportunities. And these opportunities allow you to learn important lessons about yourself that will be beneficial to bring into your loving relationship(s) in the future.
It will be well worth the wait, I promise.

From : Thought Catalog

Till then, xx.

" You need someone who you don’t want to change, simply because who they are is more than enough. "

  Be With Someone You Don’t Want To Change

By Jessica Dentith

 
For a really long time, I was under the impression that it was normal to try and change the person you love.

See, there would be so many things that I loved about someone …but then there were other things that I did not care for. Things that I did not want from a partner, so naturally, I thought they should no longer do them.

Wrong.

I’ve learned that when someone shows you their true colors, you need to believe what they are showing you, accept it, and either move forward or move on.

When someone says they don’t believe in marriage or having kids (but you believe in both), understand that this person may have many qualities that you love, but you are both on different pages. It is not your mission to try and sway their perspective.

When someone hurts you physically, mentally and/or emotionally, you have to understand that this is who they are. They can swear up and down that they will change, that they would never hurt you again, but actions always speak louder than words. It is not your job to stay with someone because of the potential they have or the person they could be. Recognize who they are in that exact moment and accept the fact that this is their character.

It wasn’t until recently that I had this epiphany of sorts: be with someone you do not want to change.

Why? Because I have stumbled upon another human being that I do not want to change in any way, shape, or form, simply because I genuinely adore everything that he is and everything that he stands for.

We want the same things. We are passionate about health and fitness. We are family-oriented, both wanting marriage and kids in the future. We have the same mannerisms. We have the same morals. We laugh at the stupid stuff. We can be silly in once instance, and then serious the next. Fundamentally, we are on the same page about the stuff that is important to us.

And because of that, we just work. It doesn’t take much effort. It’s care-free, easy, and genuine. For the first time, I am not trying to mold someone into this image I have in my head. Instead, I am accepting him for everything that he is in this current moment in time and loving every minute of it.

His little quirks that he gets embarrassed over have become my favorite parts of him. I don’t want him to ever be someone he isn’t just to make me happy. I want him in every form: happy, sad, cheerful, mad, etc., without apologies.

I am not saying this is the person I will end up with in the end. But I am saying that this person brings out a healthier version of myself and represents a relationship I am proud to be a part of.

You need to be with someone who makes your life easier, not harder. You need someone who you can laugh with, cry with, and do everything with.

You need someone who you don’t want to change, simply because who they are is more than enough.

From : Thought Catalog

Till then, xx.

Blessed

Well yeah, my birthday was like 2 months ago (it's on the 27th of April in case you don't know haha)
You might be wondering why i didn't post about it like how normally people would ?
Initially i didn't think of writing a post about this because i thought that my birthday is just like any other day. Yes it's my 18th birthday, an important milestone in my life but nevertheless i still think that there's no need for it. But somehow, i feel like i should; because i should express my gratitude to my friends who made the effort to celebrate my birthday for me.

To my clique : Thank you everyone (some of you weren't present but it's okay!) for making the effort to spend their day with me because i know how busy all of you were.
Yup your surprise did really work HAHA because i really thought that i was just gonna spend it with Isabel alone. I wasn't expecting the rest of you to turn up and with gifts too.

It may be just a simple birthday celebration but i'm really thankful that majority of you turned up and made my day. Here's to many more birthday celebrations with all of you ;-)

To my poly clique : Thank for making the effort to make my birthday celebration fun with all the dares before i could actually get to my birthday present *inserts moon face* Thanks for making my poly life more bearable because at least everyday, i would be able to have something look forward to.

(Pardon this picture pls)

To the 2 faggots (In case you don't know who yourselves are : Jeryn and Yangqin) : Thank you to you both for the gift card and also (as much as i don't want to say) for making my poly life more bearable too with all of your shootings and jokes.

(My parents doesn't really like taking photos so i guess this shall make do )

To my family : THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME TREAT Y'ALL ON MY BIRTHDAY (oh god so much love for y'all)
Yeah and their reason was "you should thank us for giving birth to you and bringing you up so well; if not you wouldn't be here celebrating your birthday."

To my other friends : Really really appreciate your birthday wishes and gifts even though we may not meetup really often. I was really shocked too, at how y'all could still remember my birthday.

To be very honest, i'm someone who doesn't like attention. I'm not the type to hold a birthday party for myself, invite a lot of people and make it as big as possible. I'd prefer a quiet celebration just with my close friends.

Thank you all for accepting me for who i am and tolerating my nonsense for years and HAHA many years to come ;-) I've always been really bad at expressing my feelings but deep down i'm actually really thankful to each and everyone of you.

Till then, xx.