How To Get What You Want In Life 

By : Ellen Nguyen

If you look back at your life, tell me how many times have you wanted something badly and screwed it all up? You blame yourself; you regret your actions; you wish you could go back in time and do it differently; you torture yourself with the fact that you might never have the same opportunity again. It forces you to doubt yourself, to admit defeat, to ask, “Why not me?”, believing you’re never good enough for it.

That feeling sucks, especially when no matter how much you try to lie to yourself, deep down you know you still want it. The worst part is that you don’t even know how to make it right. You’re afraid that you will mess up all the good things in your life while wondering on-end how other people could have it all together.

I have been there before. I have been that girl who made mistakes after mistakes, got myself humiliated, ashamed, heartbroken, and subsequently ruined my chances at happiness. It happened so often that I even convinced myself I did not really want what I wanted, or perhaps I was meant to look for something else.

However, over time as I learned from my experiences and started to do differently to attain my goals, I realized that it wasn’t about the things that I wanted, it was essentially about me. It is about my mindset, how I see and treat myself and the way I go about my life. It was eye-opening to me that by changing my thinking and approach, I could actually turn everything around, be well-prepared and in control.

The full article is at : Thought catalog : How to get what you want in life

Till then, xx.

12.

12 Things Some Girls Still Don’t Understand

By Kate Bailey

1. More makeup does not mean more beautiful. More makeup means you look like you put more makeup on. It’s not to say that I think girls should only wear a certain amount of makeup, it’s just to say that there are some girls who will not leave the house without a full face of foundation, concealer, contouring and a smokey eye and I think it kind of wanes on their quality of life. I know, I used to be one of these girls.

2. You should never be at the whim of your partner’s will because you are a woman, and if you are, it’s your duty to stand up for yourself and other women until we live in a culture where that isn’t an issue.

3. Nobody is impressed by how little you ate today. They want to give you a sandwich and explain to you the world of beauty standards because they feel bad for you.

4. You never have to be ashamed of what you look like. People will always have their opinions, so it’s up to you whether or not you want to listen to them, and act on them. Most often, the only person who is telling you that you look awful is yourself. People who love you won’t care about that kind of stuff.

5. Nobody is looking to date a girl who doesn’t respect herself.

6. If you want to impress someone, talk about something of substance. People will be taken by you for displaying who you are by your words and actions more than how you present yourself aesthetically.

7. The absolute most attractive thing a girl can do and be is confident.

8. Your sexuality is yours, and yours alone, and you are in charge of it, and if that is violated, you are not at fault. At the same time, you are entitled to express yourself healthfully in that way, and you don’t have to make excuses for it, nor do you have to hide or be embarrassed of it.

9.  There are few things more unattractive and unappealing than a girl who talks badly about another woman and uses her appearance as ammo. Calling another girl fat usually doesn’t make the person you’re talking to think they are fat more than it makes them think you are insecure about your own body, etc.

10. The more photos you take of yourself and post on social media, especially ones that involve a full-body shot and a sexually indicative pose, does not equate to how much more people will think you are attractive. However, you have the right to do this if so you choose.

11. You don’t have to pose for a photo with every single person in the room at a social gathering to prove you had a great time or have friends. Just think about how that looks when you post an album to Facebook where you are in every single picture.

12. You aren’t anything lesser because you don’t want to be a picture of femininity, but that’s also not something you have to prove to anyone.

From : Thought Catalog

Till then, xx.

" Whatever freedom means to you, take the chance to define it – and then pursue it with everything you’ve got. "

12 Ways To Cultivate More Freedom In Your Everyday Life

By Heidi Priebe

1. De-clutter your living space

Go through your house or apartment and get rid of everything you don’t need – the clothing you haven’t worn in years, the nick-knacks that litter your living room, the mementos you no longer look at. The less you own, the more you realize how little you actually need to be happy. And that’s a freeing notion.

2. Stop apologizing

Stop invalidating yourself by contradicting your actions with your words. If you’re not sorry, don’t say so. Own your actions and your thoughts. It’s a damn freeing feeling to stand by what you do without apology.

3. Move your body daily

It’s so easy to become dormant in our everyday lives and forget that our bodies are the most liberating tools we have for exploration and discovery. When we find a type of activity that invigorates and refreshes us, there’s no reason not to do it daily. It could be as intensive as scaling a rock face or as relaxing as low-key yoga. Either way, it is a celebration of what you are capable of using only your own body and spirit.

4. Start saying no

Start small. If you don’t want to finish the movie, turn off the TV. If you don’t want to go to the party, don’t go. Getting into the habit of saying no to small things helps us to repeat the practice when it comes to the bigger issues – and it frees up so much more time for what we actually do want to do in our days.

5. Spend money on experiences, not things

Realize which purchases are investments for your well being and which purchases will eventually just become clutter. Budget your money to save up for adventures and experiences, not just objects that will collect dust on your shelf.

6. Lean into discomfort

Most of the limits we face in our lives are self-imposed. We strive for freedom but we also regulate our lives mercilessly. Practice freedom by breaking down the regular structure of your day and saying yes to activities that challenge or scare you a little. It could be as small as trying a new cuisine or as nerve-wracking as asking someone out on a date. Whatever it is, just don’t let fear get in the way. Let it serve as a reminder that you’re onto something good.

7. Stop making comparisons

Measuring ourselves up against the successes and failures of others narrows our lives down to the tiniest, pettiest versions of what they could be. Let go of ideas of what you ‘should’ be doing based on what others are doing. You are your own person and your life will be infinitely different than the lives of those around you – if you let it be.

8. Envision the life that you want

Don’t hold back when it comes to envisioning the life you wish you were leading. Let your fantasies run wild and then let them serve as a basis for what you should prioritize. Giving your mind permission to elaborate on reality will help you feel freer in every way.

9. Commit to continuous learning

Discard the idea that you’re too old or too busy to learn anything new. Open your mind up to new ideas, new concepts and consequently new challenges. Free yourself from your usual way of thinking and recognize how quickly it translates to new ways of doing things, too.

10. Reserve judgment when it comes to others

Silence the voice in your mind that criticizes and belittles the people around you. Instead, take note of what you admire about others – if they’re incredibly conscientious with their work or if they made an especially bold move with a particular outfit. Re-training your brain to identify the positive things around you also trains it to recognize the potential.

11. Realize what you need to let go of

Hone in on your thoughts and recognize which ones are dragging you down. If you’re holding in anger, resentment or fear, find a way to release it. And relish in the positive mental space you’ve cultivated as a result.

12. Define your own freedom

Consider what the word ‘Freedom’ actually means to you. Is it financial independence? Is it intellectual stimulation? Is it having the time and resources to travel or is it as simple as making a little more time to read and visit friends? Whatever freedom means to you, take the chance to define it – and then pursue it with everything you’ve got.

From : Thought Catalog

Till then, xx.